Sunday, February 3, 2008

From Pat Dwyer

But Let Me Tell You Why I Hate Don Hall As Much As I Do

Don Hall, what a fucking waist of space. I don't believe that there are words enough in the English language to truly encapsulate how much of a raging tool box Don Hall really is. So I will choose the word "kitten". To some this word brings to mind soft, delicate, and comforting reminders of their youth. For others "Kitten" reminds them of a tender relationship of abounding love. To me, the word "kitten", makes me want to cut off my own junk, feed it to myself and cry as I slowly bleed to death. FUCK YOU DON HALL! YOU FUCKING KITTEN! If one takes into account that I am allergic to cats, have been bitten or clawed by every single one I've ever touched and would choose to raise a cat in sublime loving happiness for the soul purpose watch it's eyes explode as it circles in the microwave, you may begin to understand how much I hate Don Hall; and even that couldn't even possibly do it. Don is the ice patch that a decrepit own lady blames for her now lame legs. Don is a tornado sucking up and throwing the 4 year old daughter of the man that watches. Don is the hook that the newly gutted calf hangs from as it circles the slaughter house floor. Don is a Popsicle that gives you such bad brain freeze that you snot. Don is Aids. Don Hall, do the world a favor and get hit by the Wiener-mobile. "I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wein....FUCK YOU DON HALL. Go to hell and die. Slowly. Painfully! Slowly and Painfully. Happy Birthday? More like...Shmappy...Tirth....ah FUCK YOU DON HALL!

-Pat "Your Worstest Enemy Ever" Dwyer


p.s. Jen is cool.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Pat I see who hate Don Hall and I'm sure for good reason. But leave the kitten out of it. If you are so mean that you would actually like to see a kittens eyes exlpode in a microwave, you are no better. the world would be better off if you an he killed each other in a lets say joist event, so we cat lovers could watch. dw